The so-called “Perfect” Wedding

Note: This is purely my opinion. I don’t hate the couple in fact, I congratulate them and wish them total happiness. Photos are obviously not mine, LOL. Grabbed them from several sites such as: facebook, niceprintphotgraphy, GMA, alloyentertainment, and polyvore.

December 30, 2014. A perfectly normal day for nonshowbiz people like yours truly. Probably most of the people like my neighborhood, the whole country or even other parts of the globe are busy shopping and preparing their homes for New Year’s Eve celebration. But for showbiz royalties, particularly Marian Gracia and Jose Sixto Dantes III, popularly known as Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes, respectively; it is the most magical day of their lives.

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The couple tied the knot on that fateful day in the most luxurious, extravagant and well, romantic fashion ever (or at least of the year or might even decade). The bride looked gorgeous wearing a Michael Cinco creation, reported to have cost P 2 million (!!!) she also wore a mother pearl crown specifically made for her also by Cinco, the groom looked dapper in a Randy Ortiz tux. The Immaculate Conception Cathedral in Cubao, Quezon City was generously adorned with beautiful white flowers and tiny, sparkling blue lights. The place looked almost like it was an Oscars event. Complete with red carpet, metal barriers for the crowd, press and celebrities (well, the last two were sorta predictable, dont you think? LOL).The Spanish-themed wedding, officiated by 8 bishops and 7 priests, was then followed by a grand reception at the Mall of Asia (MOA) Arena serving an estimated 1,200 guests. The place looked exquisite and marvelous in red and a dash of violet. Thousands of flowers that flooded the place and what seemed like chandeliers made up of capiz shells made the reception looked so dreamy but the one thing that stood out in their reception is the 12-ft tall, Swarovski-studded, 3D-mapped wedding cake reported to have cost P 7 million (omfg) but reports say that it was a gift from Goldilocks to the couple since Dingdong is an endorser.

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Murdering Memories

Head heavy with tequila I thought I was getting rid of you. As I puked away the poison and what’s left in my system, I thought I’ve flushed you out as well. My night got dimmer and so were the memories but then my eyes started to water and tears found their way down my cheeks. No, this shouldn’t be happening. I SHOULD BE HAPPY. But why, why am I crying? My body should be rejoicing, not weeping. Then my vision started to get blurry, everything else was fading ever so slowly and then all at once – a dark oblivion.

I woke from that fateful night, thinking how it is so fuzzy to me. I could barely remember what I said or did…heck I could barely remember the rest of the night. But I realized something quite frustrating but true, the heavier my night fell, the clearer the memories of you that I was trying to kill.

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My Tatay, My Hero

I found this in one of my freshmen folders and I thought that it would be such a waste if I just leave it there since I am very proud of the person who inspired me to be the topic of my Speech 136 class assignment, “My Hero”. (and yes I memorized this whole speech by heart and recited it to class.)

Last week, we were faced with the matter of identifying our hero. If I had it my way, I would have had a long endless list of family members, friends, even celebrities and fictional characters that had greatly influenced my life. But then I pondered for a long while who I would be talking about as my hero in front of all of you and I’ve finally decided that it would be my Grandfather – the man who I fondly call Tatay.

Tatay was a Police Lieutenant back in Aklan. He owned a small restaurant together with Nanay – my grandma. He is the father of my mom, aunt and uncles. He was a hands-on and proud dad, he was always there for his children. He cared so much like a mother and protected like, well, what a father would normally do. He was present in all his kids’ school activities and applauded in all their plays, contests, and commencement exercises. He would willingly help them in their homework whenever Nanay is still not home because she used teach back then in another town.

Tatay was the type of father who would come home late from duty but still manage to sneak into his children’s beds with simple midnight snacks like barbeque, balut, and well, you get the picture. He was the type of dad who would bring his kids out for ice cream, pizza or just a walk in the park whenever they’re feeling down. He was so close to all his kids that they would even play pranks on each other and just laugh at it in the end like close buddies. He had great fatherly instincts and he knew his kids’ heart by heart; he was a very doting and respectable dad. I wish I could sum up everything about him but unfortunately, I can’t. He was always more than words on a paper, more than just a topic for speech. I wish I could find the right adjectives, the right metaphors to describe him so that you guys could also see the way I see him.

I chose him to be my hero over a long list of equally deserving individuals because he played a huge part in molding the people whom I love unconditionally. I could not imagine what type of person my mom and her siblings would be without him. He taught them a huge chunk of Faith, Values, Humanity and Independence. He was the most significant person in my mom’s life, my maternal uncles talk fondly of him even when they reminisce of the times when they got scolded for being too stubborn and my only maternal aunt used him as her source of strength and inspiration in graduating successfully from Nursing School. It is through them and their stories that I met Tatay –Why? Because he left our world long before he had any grandchildren. He died at an early age of 52 because he started smoking at an early age of 16. My mom and her siblings watched him struggle with his lung cancer for years until in late 1992, he finally said goodbye. It was a bittersweet goodbye because of course, he will be missed so much but then everyone is also tired of watching him undergo therapy, take countless meds and go to numerous check-ups all for false hopes because his body was slowly giving up. He may have left a long time ago but his influence and legacy of love and kindness with the people around him remains forever.

My hero doesn’t have any superpowers nor save the world from evil things or fly around the globe saving lives – but he did touch and change the lives of others. I’d give up anything to meet my hero.

I’d rather endure the pain of losing him than not having to meet him at all.

But there is nothing else that I can do now except to pray for his good soul and hope that he is happy wherever he is right now and that he will forever be remembered and loved.Featured image

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An Open Letter To The Boy I Can’t Have

Thought Catalog

image - Flickr / Caro image – Flickr / Caro

Being with you is getting harder everyday because although I’m with you, I’m not with you.

And the more time I spend with you, the more I want you to be mine. I’ve reached a stage where I want more…..I want more than lunches and train journeys, I want days out and dinners, nights over and mornings together. I want cuddles and caresses, to hold and to be held. I want to know what your lips would feel like on mine – that first instance they meet, and every time thereafter. I want to walk down the street or along the river with your hand in mine.

Being alone with you doesn’t feel weird at all. A little wrong maybe, but at the same time, so right. Not any of that awkwardness or hesitancy you’d expect with unfamiliarity. Instead, being with you feels more like…

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The Nonexistent Us

You’ve been inside my head for weeks months now
I’m not even sure why or how
So I told myself, “I’ll write you down”
Hoping I’ll understand ‘why?’ somehow

Bur try as I might, it seems that I’m lost
Not just for words but concrete thoughts
Don’t know what to think nor what to write
Can no longer even find words that would rhyme right

Maybe this is how it ought to be
What seemed to start quite beautifully,
Ending in such a catastrophe
Just like the nonexistent story …

Of you and me